JTers - Opinion on my situation / etiquette?

[tiggyT]

Hi,

I don't think that there are any guidelines on my situation so am looking for peoples' opinions.

Another JTer advertised a sofa; I stated interest and asked for specific measurements, as my space for it was slightly restricted on one side (in a corner). Luckily it would just about fit, so I organised to collect it at the user's convenience and arranged for a van driver to bring it all the way from far north county dublin to my home in the south of the city on their appointed day (yesterday).


However, when the sofa arrived it looked far bigger than stated measurements. It was in fact almost 20cm deeper and far too big to fit into my space. The van driver and I couldn't even get it into the lift.

I had spent ages beforehand measuring sitting room, doors, corridor and lift to make sure that it would fit, so I wasted a great deal of time, along with the €35 it cost for the van to bring the item such a great distance; not to mention all the credit I spent ringing around van drivers to get a quote and the morning I took off work to be home to receive it.


It was also problematic to have it taking up space in the lobby of my apartment building and I had to post ads online ASAP to find another taker, lest I get in trouble with building management. Luckily my ads were answered very quickly - lots of people were willing to take it, presumably because I live so close to town and it's a convenient place to collect from. It was still a hassle having to get rid of it and spend yet more time waiting around for someone to come with a van and helping them to load it up.


The reason jumbletown works so well is because each side does the other a favour. In this instance I did a favour and got nothing for it in return except major hassle and loss of time and money.

To be fair to the other JTer, they seemed like a nice person and supplying the wrong measurements was an honest mistake. I can forgive the huge waste of time because they said sorry and I know it was a genuine error. However, I'm a little bitter about the money, as it means that I'm the one who is literally paying for their mistake. Obviously most people getting their furniture here don't have a ton of spare cash to throw around!

My question to jumbletown users is what their opinion is on the situation - is there any etiquette that should be followed; what is the right and fair thing to do here; should I just accept being out of pocket and move on; what would you do and what do you think they should do?


I've used jumbletown for years but always as a giver. I've rarely had problems outside the annoyance of takers who didn't show up. I think that if I had been the giver here I'd feel guilty and be extremely apologetic - admittedly if asked for a refund of costs I'd initially be wary of it being some kind of scam to get money. However it's often easy to judge if someone is genuine based on interactions you've had with them and in this instance there were multiple phone calls and emails when making arrangements. I've also supplied contact details for the van driver and the subsequent taker to verify how much it cost, that it wouldn't fit and that it was taken away again. I don't think the user can be in any doubt that I'm being genuine; in which case, if it were me the very least I'd do is repay the costs and probably make some nice gesture to compensate for the time and effort wasted!

I'd really appreciate any comments and opinions - thanks JTers!

[Chris P]

Hi tiggyT,

First of all, thanks for the feedback, and sorry to hear that despite the efforts that you and the Taker went to, the Giving and Taking process ended up being unsatisfactory.

As you outline in your detailed post above, the Giver in question passed on what they thought were the correct measurements for the sofa, and that no desire to mislead was intended -- a genuine mistake was made.

Ideally, potential Takers should inspect the item in person to ensure the item is what they expect. (In the past, we've had a few instances where potential Takers have complained that a Giver's description of an item was wrong or simply misleading. When we queried the Giver, they usually responded that, in their opinion, their item was as described, and that the potential Taker obviously had a different opinion of what constituted "good condition" or "slight marks on seat-covers" etc. We rarely get complaints about incorrect measurements, and I can't recall an incident where we had to ban a Member for trying to pass off a poor-quality item as being in good condition. It's our experience that most folks know when something needs to be recycled or disposed of instead of re-used/life-cycled, the latter being JumbleTown's remit.)

The fact is that Takers can't and shouldn't rely 100% on a Giver's description or even a photo -- seeing and inspecting the item in person is the only way to be be 100% sure. In the case you outline above, I understand that this wasn't really possible because of the distance involved, but had that been possible, you wouldn't have found yourself with a nice sofa in your hallway that you couldn't put in your apartment. (I can just imagine your frustration and dismay!) Perhaps if you'd asked the van-driver to measure the sofa in situ, things mightn't have gone so pear-shaped, but then again, you clearly didn't expect a discrepancy in the measurements.

Re: Apologies and compensation: You state that the Giver was apologetic and genuinely sorry, and we've no reason to doubt this. As regards your being out of pocket for the van-hire, and the time and trouble involved in actually getting the item and then having to pass it on again, unfortunately, there is very little that either you or Admin can do. We can't compel the Giver to offer compensation or a reimbursement as the item was offered in good faith and a genuine mistake was made -- no malice was intended. Also, you're right to state that nothing in JumbleTown's current guidelines covers this area specifically. This is partly because we rarely get such occurrences, and also because, at best, we could only make a recommendation that Givers compensate potential Takers for any inconvenience experienced or costs that may be incurred should the Giving and Taking process go awry. Admin feels that such a recommendation (or even stipulation) would only discourage potential Givers from using the site. And so, as you state in your post above, you may have to simply put it down to experience and move on. That's not satisfactory, but realistically, it's as good as it gets. Sad, but true.

Thanks again for the feedback, tiggyT, and here's hoping that your next experience on JumbleTown will be less fraught.

Regards
Chris P
Admin

[tiggyT]

Hi Chris,


Thanks for your reply. I am on board with everything you're saying; I understand that JT can't legislate for incidents like this. As a giver I agree that rules stipulating compensation would be offputting, not least because they'd leave givers open to being scammed.


That's why I phrased this as a question for Jumbletown users as a matter of opinion or etiquette, rather than asking for administrative support. It's not about what the user can be compelled to do but rather what perspective the community has on the situation. I find it difficult to let go of this incident because it seems so unfair that the other party has burdened me with the consequences of their mistake and I think input from the community could help me to accept it and let it go, even if it doesn't change the outcome of the situation.


This is not a subjective difference of opinion about quality; it was the sole clearly stipulated condition of taking the item off their hands. There was no reason not to accept the measurement they gave so it didn't occur to me to tell the van driver to remeasure it - though even if I had taken that extra precaution, he would still have had to be paid for his time so I'd still be out of pocket due to their error. I know in an ideal world I'd have been there myself but that just wasn't possible and the other party to the transaction knew that.

I suppose it comes down to different standards of personal integrity; it's not the money that makes it hard to let go of but the disappointment. One text that sounded genuinely apologetic, followed by stonewalling and refusal to engage just feels very callous. I try to treat people as I would wish to be treated and would never dream of making another person pay the price of my mistake. It shakes my faith in humanity a little bit when other people aren't as decent. I'd like to think most jumbletown users are that decent; I'm still happy to support the site by giving things away but I think this experience has made me too wary to ever risk taking anything.

Thanks again.

[Chris P]

Thanks for your further insights into this matter, tiggyT. I really can't disagree with anything you've written, but I think we both know that the situation is probably intractable. Moving on (with a heavy heart) is never easy -- ask any administrator of a public forum! Since JumbleTown's inception in 2006, Admin has learned more about human nature than any course in psychology or sociology could teach us. We've carried on despite the set-backs and disappointments because we know from experience that giving people the benefit of the doubt is a good rule of thumb. Call us naive, but we find that it works best for us, and hopefully for the rest of JumbleTown's community as well.

Finally, sorry to hear that you'll be wary of requesting items in future; however, I am pleased that despite your obvious disappointment over this particular transaction, your role as a Giver will probably continue.

Regards
Chris P
Admin

[tiggyT]

Hello Chris,


After the initial day or so of feeling annoyed I got it out of my system! I haven't thought about it at all since posting here the other day and I'm happy to leave the situation knowing that I did the best I could and just write it off as an unlucky encounter. Tis the season to be magnanimous so I'll even wish the other party luck with whatever their endeavours are! I agree with you wholeheartedly about giving all other JT users the benefit of the doubt. Venting here really did the trick and I'd like to thank you for this dialogue, which was enormously helpful.

This exchange facility benefits thousands, among whom I am certainly very appreciative of admin's efforts - you provide a wonderful public service so muchas gracias for soldiering on despite all the challenges. Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas and all the best for 2014.

[Chris P]

... and a Merry Christmas and best wishes for the New Year to you too, tiggyT.

Thanks again for the feedback.

Regards
Chris P
Admin